Panic button

Beneath the hard shell of confidence that I seem to take along with me everywhere lately, sometimes I get myself into the panic attack where I start finding faults in everything happening around me. Deep down in the weak moment I try to seek reassurance desperately from someone besides self; but still face my rigidity of not approaching even the closest friend or sibling. I have grown to be like that now, not that I am endorsing or rejecting this abject behaviour. I end being cool in the situations and thrust the dagger in my happy go lucky attitude. Looking calmly a few hours later I realise that all the jittery control just ends up creating bigger mess that one doesnt imagine until later. Summing up my few experiences over the years including this current turmoil, this is what I have made of myself and how regressive I can take a downward spiral to.

I say, patience truly is a virtue and I need to get around with making friends with this eluded side of my personality. Else, I see more screw ups coming my way. Surely.

*raises eyebrow* *smiles*

You have been hiding

bring back the Time. bring it back.
when the Music, Books, Beliefs changed the world for you.
the Songs spoke of you. of numbness. of your life.

bring back with it, all its regrets and anguish.
bring back the head bumping. bring back the way it rocked you.
bring back the serene nirvana followed.
No dont be afraid when a tear rolls down once more.
wipe it and flash that smile back to memories.
when the Books got with them, the unseen paths they sought you to take.
the countless lives.
bring back, bitter sweet the verve. the whirlwind inside your head.
the juvenation To Do. the juvenation To just Be.
bring back the fervor that engulfed.
No. dont you run away this time.
bring back a shattered tough you. but no, not this ghost.
who lives your life faithless.
bring back yourself.
walk. walk towards untrodden roads which were your own.
bring back those faded maps. gleaming hopes, your faith will guide you.
don't you hold back now.
look. you have the sunny rays awaited.
bring back. bring back You.
bring back Me. bring back my Life.
You know. You can't keep hiding Me.

I am back.

Apologies for the two and half years delay. I should have been writing when deep down I have been wanting to. Alright so loads of things have changed in the big bad world, we took two whole rounds around the sun. I looked at my own blog and cant relate to a lot of things. Bro, ain't cool. *looks again*
*sighs* no wonder.

So cheers for a new start and let the good times roll.

While I am at it, let me give a sneak peak. This new(lets not try a 4th one) blog will talk about women, chai and why, travel, dreams, randomness, world, myself and you maybe. Dont be on my bad side, else I write nasty too. *raises eye brow*