Panic button

Beneath the hard shell of confidence that I seem to take along with me everywhere lately, sometimes I get myself into the panic attack where I start finding faults in everything happening around me. Deep down in the weak moment I try to seek reassurance desperately from someone besides self; but still face my rigidity of not approaching even the closest friend or sibling. I have grown to be like that now, not that I am endorsing or rejecting this abject behaviour. I end being cool in the situations and thrust the dagger in my happy go lucky attitude. Looking calmly a few hours later I realise that all the jittery control just ends up creating bigger mess that one doesnt imagine until later. Summing up my few experiences over the years including this current turmoil, this is what I have made of myself and how regressive I can take a downward spiral to.

I say, patience truly is a virtue and I need to get around with making friends with this eluded side of my personality. Else, I see more screw ups coming my way. Surely.

*raises eyebrow* *smiles*