crazymms musings

The bygone evening'

2012-02-16T02:35:00.001+05:30

My heart was drenched inside me, one of those occasions when I felt choked. Another person couldn't convince me to feel otherwise during that moment, my view of the world and what I need to live on was very focused to one singularity, wrapped in a fiery passion and calm likeness, my love for the woman. The hustle bustle around the eve, gave me a little rip inside of not being able to spend the time with her, not being her man. I was head strong determined to take the fact as it seemed and spent the time being deluged in me, music and poetry.

Fast forward, this time around, I had a calm night sleeping through, hurried rush to office and trying to get on top of an unconquerable deadline. I have illusions sometimes that I can please my boss because I am good at my work. Twitter buzzed through the day, with love quotes, a few singles who hated this commercialisation of love, some happy to have settled in and calmed down tweeples who correctly mentioned everything as love through the day, and others who did not want to be left out; shared 'simply the best' urls about love. I felt good around few genuine and excited people, it is nice to be able to celebrate their mutual love and relationships. Its alright to even have a separate day for it; well knowing busy mad lives we live.

Besides trying to catch up on unending analysis of data on boring' excel sheets during the eve, I simply enjoyed flirting with a quick thinking woman I know. I feel sexy; and immensely confident around my wit. I believe overall it was a good Valentine's for a single and uncommitted man, life is still open for endless possibilities actually. Some thrill, excitment and passion still awaits in the times to come. Let it roll.
*smiles* *raises eye brow*

The feel good night.

2012-02-11T03:43:00.001+05:30

So its one of the fun, two best friends get a little high, watch a non sensical movie about friends, discuss women who are, have been, hopefully the sexy one who will come in, night. *imagines fantasies*

So my buddy is getting married in a couple of months with his gal. Man, I am proud of him to have sustained the relationship well, be
by his woman and get engaged when time required him to. There are so many things we feel unsure of at this age as men, and he took his decision and went ahead. Not many couples actually stick by each other in todays time. You know what I am saying. *whistles*

So all good things come to an end, most of these friends are now married or on verge. (At this point we will push you even if you are shit scared). I guess the crazy guy sessions will be passe. I have come to terms with it.

Anyhow, I have to see what excitement, the future has in store for me. I am still restless and refuse to budge to boredom. I will give life another chance, I know you will be good to me. So right now lets close our deal with a few old books, some music, a career to make, some dreams to keep alive.

5 years of Love.

2012-02-10T13:02:00.004+05:30

I really feel good even today as much as I did exactly back on 7 Feb 2007 when I first had you - my ride, my bike, my babe. Sure you break down more often now, bug me, make me helpless, land me up in middle of a highway and refuse to budge. But Thank you for the countless great times i have had, the power, the assurance I have felt, the freedom I have lived, the new roads, the journeys I have discovered. You took me out of my shell and threw me into the world to try, explore, discover and live. There is a feeling which I think only some other bikers can associate with it, a deep gratitude, love and faith. Cheers for the fabulous 5 yrs and the wonderful times to come.

I am back.

2012-02-10T12:17:00.001+05:30

Apologies for the two and half years delay. I should have been writing when deep down I have been wanting to. Alright so loads of things have changed in the big bad world, we took two whole rounds around the sun. I looked at my own blog and cant relate to a lot of things. Bro, ain't cool. *looks again*
*sighs* no wonder.

So cheers for a new start and let the good times roll.

While I am at it, let me give a sneak peak. This new(lets not try a 4th one) blog will talk about women, chai and why, travel, dreams, randomness, world, myself and you maybe. Dont be on my bad side, else I write nasty too. *raises eye brow*

Once upon a time….

2009-07-21T23:34:00.001+05:30

this story is old…and…this story is new too…

this story Is…and…this story Was too…

it had some happiness…and…it had a tinch of romance too…

it has some sorrow…and…some loss too…

then the story began….

like all others…

it had a beautiful princess…it had a knight too…

she had always smiled…but one day, she had cried too…

he had won many battles…but one day, he had lost too…

they had always laughed…but one day, they fought too…

the story goes on…

their was loads of anger…but some love lost too…

one was quiet…the other was afraid too…

his princess was gone…now nowhere to be seen…

this knight rode through hell…remembering those happy moments few…

may be the knight’s still far away…but he is always close too…

soon the story grew silent…

now he returns every evening by that white sand beach…may be someday she’ll come too…

he is so tired…yet…he is so smiling too…

he just sees that blue sea…and…that crimson sunset too…

he just stands with his horse by those rocks…and…the waves crash on him too…

since eternity he’s been bleeding…but…he just stands there waiting too…

Once upon a time…there was this fairy tale…

it had a beautiful princess…it had a knight too…

but Princess, it had no ending…just no ending…

i dont know why….

2009-07-20T12:13:00.001+05:30

you know, sometimes sitting here by the window….remembering you….sometimes i wonder, if you have remembered me too….but then, i dont wish to know….

you know, when am alone, broken and shattered….i just wish, you might come and give me a hug….you know, lyf feels very empty in that moment….i dont know, if its lyf at all….

you know, i havent cried….but i just go numb many times….i just dont seem to know whats happening around me….i just dont care….

you know, sometimes i still laugh hysterically with friends….but there is a hollow feeling which i dont understand….you know, that hollowness just eats me up….

you know, i still go on bike rides to cheer me up….but it doesnt excite me anymore….there’s something always missing….there’s somebody always missing….

you know, i had tried being friends with dogs, just to please you…. :))) but somehow they still bark at me and chase me all around….

you know, my favourite song….i dont like it anymore….the melody just hurts me….the tune just isnt rite anymore…

you know, i tried looking at a sunset alone….its not beautiful like last time….i dont know if it was the sunset now….

you know, i have even tried smiling and being happy….but that’s not me right now….everything just angers and frustrates me….you know, i miss you in my happiness….

you know, through that week….when you stopped talking to me….deep down, i knew, i am losing you….but all the while i also knew….i am losing me too…..…..

Dance with me tonight...

2009-02-13T23:32:00.003+05:30

i wanna ask you…

if you would dance with me tonight…

lost in your eyes…

caring about nothing else…

with a glass of wine,

& some roses…red…

i wanna ask you…

tonight i am not afraid…

If you would dance with me tonight…

music…play on…

holding you close…

i wanna sway you away,

to a world new…

i wanna feel your breath…

i wanna hear your heart beats too…

i wanna ask you…

if you would dance with me tonight…

some danish chocolates…

& a pink teddy bear…

i wanna come close,

hug you…

& smell your hair…

i wanna ask you…

if you would dance with me tonight…

i have lost my words…

i wanna rhyme again…

your lips are poetry…

i wanna kiss again…

i wanna ask you…

if you would dance with me tonight…

music…play on…

the night is still young…

tonight…wants you & me…

baby…just you & me..

i wanna ask you…

if you would dance with me tonight…

would you…???

I will…!!!

2009-02-02T21:21:00.002+05:30

In Recession hit Global Economy - Attitude matters !!!

Let the sky… rise a little high…
I am here to fly… I will…

Let the storm siege my ship…
I am here to sail… I will…

I am not afraid… I wanna live my dreams…
I know… I will…

I don’t know the ways today…
If I have to make one… I will…

I don’t know how to give up…
If I have to try, try & try… I will…

As a straw I may break…
with friends if I have strength… I will…

I have an attitude… I have a will… I have a belief…
I just have to work hard… I will…

There’s a low in every high… a high in every low…
I am here to face the world… I will…

I don’t know recessions… Do hell with them…
I wanna make BIG… I will…!!!

Just one more...

2008-12-17T23:51:00.008+05:30

PS: This is my attempt bcoz of my love for hindi / urdu poetry, one of our greatest cultural heritage... I loved writing it.. motivated by a 'Thumri - Aane do' (only one i have ever heard, excellent classical singing) after searching it for 2 yrs and listening to it for 3 hours :D ..
u have to feel the hopelessness from the point of a heart broken sad guy addicted to drinking now ( u call him randomly as devdas!) then u will understand the depth of hindi/urdu words..
some meanings : saaki - eg chrandmukhi in devdas, maikhana - whrs drinks r served :

thodi daer aur... ae Saaki...
ek aur jaam abhi... pene toh do...

in ladakhte pairo ko galat na samajh...
ek bar is dil ko fir se... sambhalne toh do...

ae Saaki...
ek aur jaam abhi... pene toh do...

mohabbat ki shama jalayi thi...
ab ek lau mein... is gam ko... pighalne toh do...

abhi jane na do... jaam baki hai...
ek nashe se kisi nashe ko... fir dhundne toh do...

ae Saaki...
ek aur jaam abhi... pene toh do...

in ghoongruon ki awaaz mein...
nam aankhon ke khwab ko... fir se jine toh do...

fir se mahakte chaman mein... jana nahi...
kaanto ke bistar par... ek bar chain ki neend... sone toh do...

ae Saaki...
ek aur jaam abhi... pene toh do...

kisi makkaan mein mera guzaara nahi... ae Saaki...
is maikhane mein... mujhe fir se... aane toh do...

is sharabi pe ek bar taras kha...
meri haseen nazneen ki yaadein... fir se sajane toh do...

yeh shaam abhi baki hai...

Ae Saaki...
ek aur jaam abhi... pene toh do...

PS: Do comment guyz, its vry encouraging !!

Bikers r to bikes...U 'wise' r 'otherwise'...

2008-12-03T17:24:00.004+05:30

...i ride through Hell...
...i cover all ways...

...on my babe, i mount all terrains...
...i ride on... all nights & days...

...i savour these roads, i love these journeys...
...now, come on... let the curves unfold...

...this storm 's a thrill... this ride 's a passion...
...let me drown in this rain, for some pains untold...

...i will ride my path... let the rivers flow...
...i have covered miles... there are miles to go...
...how many...? i wish i never know...

...@ full~throttle... I am not riding fast...
...i think, the light can still chase...

...i live this way...
...lost in some unruly maze...

...fun can be 'danger'... danger can be fun too...
...i stop on this unknown destination...
...beautiful... but i have no clue...

...i ride to live ~ i live to ride...

...i am a Biker...
...so let me free...

...i m a Biker...
..so just... just let me be...

PS: i hv been in love with this poem from the moment i have written it... !!! i love u babe :P

The Last Scalp....

2008-11-02T17:11:00.011+05:30

Indian Cricket c & b Kumble 619 (132 matches)

With the niggle in shoulder in first test of the ongoing Border-Gavasker Trophy and 11 stitches on an injured finger in the third, it became eminent, what all cricketing fans had tried to ignore. The gentleman of the game walks away after 19 yrs with achievements and laurels that generations of coming fans will boost about. Indian wins on turning home wickets wouldnt have been a guarded fortress for more than a decade without this commanding general on whom every Indian fondly relied on. During his peak he lead the bowling attack from the front making each of his 35 5 wicket hauls(in India & Abroad) as precious as any of Tendulkar's or Gavasker's centuries. Despite the Legends of Tendulkar, Dravid, Ganguly & Laxman, it is nothing but appropriate to honour him the Biggest Match Winner from India. He was doubted in the stepping stones of his career, but only took the spinning fear of Prasanna, Bedi & Chandra from India forward. He has carved a niche amongst generations of legendary bowlers by his 10 wickets in an innings hawl at Kotla a decade back, something that every Indian feel proud about even today and will for decades to come.

Kumble will be remembered by the batsmen of 2 generations as the smiling assassin who could bowl the 35th or 40th over of the day with same precision and aggression as his first ball. Little has anybody seen him drifting down the leg side or putting it short. For analysts, he might have been a gentle medium pacer who turned a couple of leg breaks but his subtle variations, accuracy and bounce of the wicket have been dreaded by some of the greatest batsmen ever. A true Legend, gentleman, rolemodel and an innocent child at heart whos held on to an old-old faded Indian cap wanting to play nothing but Cricket !!! I applaud the Greatest ever Indian Bowler and the...'Jumbo'...of the game... :)

Lyf's About....

2008-10-23T16:40:00.005+05:30

This Poem was written for one of my closest & best friends on his birthday... the dude was threatened that i might write a poem for some gal in future & not him :D !! so this one is for u mahn... posted for all those who asked for it... & well one of my favourite poems:

lyf's about 100 bucks and bike ride..

and the laughter we shared after a Sumo tried to kill us..

lyf's about you driving and rock music..

and we singing in screeching voices..

lyf's about sunday mornings and cricket by the beach...

your endless ducks and my bad running..

lyf's about college and bunking lectures...

the cheap canteen food and endless hogging...

lyf's about bitter coffee and u hating it...

and me not getting, why you like it sweet...

lyf's about mindless humour and gibber talks..

some business plans and sum lost thoughts...

lyf's about my stupidity and your support...

some crashing troubles and fun cover ups...

lyf's about my house, overnights and 2 am...

and endless movies and sitcoms I translated...

lyf's about sum stupid poems and painful shayaris...

and you not making fun of even the crappy ones...

this lyf's about "YOU".... this lyf's about "ME"....

this lyf's about "OUR FRIENDSHIP".......~~~

Executing a written Script...

2008-10-18T12:09:00.006+05:30

Sachin Tedulkar on passin 11,953 test-runs & become the highest run-maker ever in Test Cricket

It is sometimes most difficult thing to live upto, wat is considered as inevitable... being a devotee to my God moreso a cricket enthusiast, even i had assumed in childhood tat Sachin's gonna reach there...to everyone it wasnt a question of whether he will do it but of wen ?? its the final awaited jewel in the crowinin glory of a great batsman's career, most have never dared to even dream of it...
to remind ppl, i want to say, we have forgotten the greatness of this feat under the weight of expectations from this Man (not tat ne indian still gives him the space to be a mortal on the 22 yard strip) !!! 10 governments have changed, 84 crore expecting eyes have become 110 crore expecting eyes, India has become from a poor underdeveloped country to one of the fastest most sought after growing global economy, 2 recessions have passed, STD trunk calls have been replaced by mobile phones in every hand, Fiat Padmini has given way to Honda Accord, Hamara Bajaj is passe - youth impress chics on Yamaha R15, Bombay became Mumbai, Madras - Chennai, Calcutta - Kolkata, Bangalore - Bangaluroo (we cant even spell city names correctly nemore !!) etc etc... a whole 3 generations have found hope for India in a little man to achieve wat they couldnt, to bring glory to a starved nation, to sway their emotions in an Ind - Pak encounter or to be just proud on one fine day of Being an Indian and celebrating... Yes, it takes tat much of time for a young 16 school boy wid curly hair, sparkle in his eyes and a bigger bat for his size to fulfill his and a country's dream... for this 19 yrs of perceiverence hardwork and the romantic affair wid the game, We Salute U, truly u r a champion of our hearts !!!

STATUTORY WARNING !!!

2008-10-16T18:07:00.002+05:30

Most things mentioned in this blog are pure works of fiction.. Atif's Aadat and Linkin Park's Numb have evoked most of the below thoughts.. The writer warns the reader of attaching themselves to the flowery use of words.. Nething mentioned in the writings should not be construed as feelings or emotions and held against the hopelessness and insanity associated with the writer over the years.. Commenting is Free, u don have to pay the Blogger for it..

Ps: I don know if u will enjoy reading my blog but was the purpose of my lyf to make u happy ?? If u do not understand nethin plz do not bother cursing me, may be i m just too deep for u and u r as dumb as i initially thgt u were..

~PEACE~

Inside the Devil's Mind...

2008-10-16T17:05:00.008+05:30

Facing a fear.... Ride or Collide...

Once upon a time lived the fearless Spartans.. blah blah.. fearless attitudes and stories can just go on.. rite ?

‘Fearless’ has been exaggerated over the centuries giving it a superhuman touch.. Ignorance of wat an individual fears doesn’t make him fearless.. does it ?? Pondering over the yrs I hv understood tat everybody fears something, its more about u knowing it & how u face it ??

Its not about battling it out or running away from it but the calmness of just staring at it and still trying to remain unaffected.. Nobody sees ur attitude at tat time and nobody cares, but u have to face some truths urself sometimes to attain a salvation.. I m not trying to be a new kind of yogi here, if u thinking so ?! better said than done ??

a 300 kms bike journey at unmentionable speeds in dark nite wid mucky NH-17 amidst a storm and then steep foggy ghats took my hypothesis to next level.. I must admit - I was damn afraid, for a major part of the ride coz at such speeds and on such unknown dark terrains u cant make mistakes.. and if u make, u wont be able to write such blogs.. No guarantees tat those fears wont haunt u back but it felt great conquering a fear at tat time.. at times such insanity gives me the sanity to face the ‘real normal world’.. the fear and facing it had given me a high and a new understanding (sumthing which booze has been unable to!!!), to try out another hypothesis, another adventure next time.. the whole episode summed up to - The Fear was High & I was High on Lyf…

Dying Love....

2008-10-16T12:35:00.008+05:30

a little pain still lingers... on a now happy mask...
a heaviness still weighs... on once grieving heart...

I m tired of smiling... sometimes of being so untrue...

a little tear still remains... on the corner of an eye...
a little cry still awaits... on once hurt me...

a little envy still stays... on the other hand tat touched u...
a little piece still unbroken... on once shattered dreams...

i m tired of being numb... sometimes of thinkin i m not waitin...

a little hope still lives on... somewhere deep down, i don know...
a little Love just doesn die... sayin tat may be........ I Still.....................

m not broken.....yet....

2008-09-07T01:10:00.003+05:30

every step.....m.....walking happy.....

its the pen.....who is sad.....

every second.....m......laughing.....from heart.....

its the ink.....who cried.....

every moment.....i feel.....is perfect.....

its the book.....who is wounded red.....

every day.....smilin.....I live.....

its the rhyme.....who is dying.....

forever.....I still LOVE.....

its the poem.....who is HATING.......

lyf's a tough decision

2008-09-07T00:20:00.008+05:30

it was easy to run away...

but i chose to stand thr waitin...

it was easy to forget...

but i chose to remember her...

it was easy to to close my eyes & turn away...

but i chose to look into her eyes...

may be.... tats the way... I AM...

it was easy to show the pain...

but i chose to laugh everytime...

it was easy to cry...

but i chose to smile at lyf...

it was easy to die...

but i chose to...Live every dying moment...

it was easy to HATE...

but i still chose to care.........

may be.....may be.....tats the way....I LOVE......

Can u...???

2008-09-06T23:32:00.004+05:30

can u hold me...once...

before leaving me...

can u look into my eyes...once...

before shying away...

can u say something...once...

before not talking again...

even quiet moment wid u...makes a day worthwhile...

can u hug me...once...

before turning away...

can u take a walk wid me...once...

before changing ways...

can u think of me...once...

before forgetting me...

can u... can u...

just love me once...

before not caring ever...

even one such moment wid u....makes my lyf worthwhile...........

...n i met her once...

2008-09-06T18:03:00.006+05:30

She was going,i called her..
drawin close i held her...
to me...she gave the stone eyes...
but soft clay beyond the stone lies...

Oh! how i wished, she did not leave today...

words fall short, i saw such beauty...nowhere...
i smelled her hair...n lost in thgts somewhere...
she glowed like the moon...may be more...
perfect !!! a starry nite to meet her...

Oh! how i wished, she did not leave today...

she spoke n she laughed...
i tried...but had nothin to talk...
n yet...had everything to say...

she talked of lyf, she talked of love...
she talked of poems i have tried...
she never understood...she was my rhyme...

Oh! how i wished, she did not leave today...

n then... she smiled n she smiled...
i lived a love story...thinkin of her..lost in her eyes...
wid some - true...wid some lies...
wat passed as a moment to her...
I...thgt...I...had...lived...my...life...

Oh! how i wished, she did not leave today...

U, me......coffee....???

2008-06-28T01:25:00.002+05:30

If ever...things go wrong...

If ever...theres no one to talk...

If ever...somewhere i m wrong...

If ever...u just wanna talk...

Lets meet...lets get together...

Lets chill...lets talk...

Lets just have...a COFFEE...together...

I will remember u.....

2008-06-28T01:11:00.003+05:30

i promise i will remember u...
someday....... crying in pain.......

i promise i will remember u...
someday....... walking in rain.......

Wenever lyf makes me sad...
i promise i will remember u.......

i promise i will remember u...
someday....... seeing the sunset.......

i promise i will remember u...
someday....... lazying on the beach......

Wenever lost in thoughts...
i promise i will remember u.......

i promise i will remember u...
someday....... sipping a cup of coffee.....

i promise i will remember u...
someday....... enjoying the breeze by the window.......

Wenever lyf makes me smile again...
i promise i will remember u......................
i promise......................i will really do..................

My first time......

2008-04-19T13:02:00.005+05:30

I was too timid to start with…

After all it was the first time for both of us… And I was just 19 then…

I always knew this day would come around in my life… I had to make it special and memorable… since a month or so, I knew we were about there….

I knew the first time is always difficult… I had to be gentle, not to hurt her… after all I loved her so dearly…

I walked past the door n saw her waiting for me… there she was…Perfect… I could have spent the night just gazing at her… if I were a good poet then some heart melting lines would have been said… I hugged her for what seemed like eternity… I was anxious, I was excited… a few tensed moments, a few smiling… hmm, life’s never been so good…

The time had come…

I was on top of her and I liked it… the first few minutes i just explored her body… how I wished the moment never passed by…

N then we started… life in that second was just about the two of us… we cared for nobody else… a little passion, a little thirst, a little love n a little lust…

I was slow n I wanted to give her time to open up…. Since it was the first time, we were there for about 5 – 7 mins… how much more did u expect from me ???

After it was over, all I can say is some things are better experienced than talked about… the whole thing is way better than we think it is...

I was very happy… everything worked out well… n from the noises I heard, I was sure she was satisfied too…!!!

We knew we will be doing it again… we were meant to be with each other…

Gosh… I loved riding my bike for the first time – my CBZ….Xtreme….

- mohitS

from my pen.........

2008-04-19T11:43:00.006+05:30

I hv written my share of really crappy Shayaris... these are a few which I considered decent enough to post... :

Khoya khoya chand,
....aaj yeh talaash kyun hai...?
badaloon mein ghum kahi,
....aaj yeh ruswai kyun hai...?
yun toh kai tare hai aasman mein,
par ae chand -
...tere bina, aaj yeh tanhai kyun hai...?

x..........................................................................................x

haat kyun choda tumne...
jab saath chalna tumne sikhaya...
kyun na ruke tum...
jab intezaar karna tumne sikhaya...
muh kyun mod liya aaj...
jab aankhon mein dekhna tumne sikhaya...
mujhe dekh kyun murjha gaye tum...
jab muskurana bhi mujhe tumne sikhaya...........

x........................................................................................x

Aaj mehfil mein jaam hai...
kal sanaata hoga...
aaj hamare lafzo par wah-wahi hai...
kal hamara janaza hoga...
aaj log has rahe hai hamari deewangi...
yaad rakhna hame...
kal ranjha-majnu nahi...
hamari deewangi ka fasana hoga......

x........................................................................................x

pyaar mein dil lut te hai...
...hum jahan luta baithe hai...
umeed ke chirag se...
...hum ghar jalaye baithe hai...
mat dalo mitti meri kabr par...
...hum abhi unke aane ki aas lagaye baithe hai...

x.......................................................................................x

Hame is tereh badalne ke liye...shukriya...
woh jhalak, woh muskurahat ke liye...shukriya...
aap ke saath har lamhe ke liye...shukriya...
aap ka saath nahi na sahi...
zindagi main humse milne ke liye...shukriya...

x.......................................................................................x

Things I HaTe about U…

2008-04-07T04:07:00.003+05:30

I hate u, not coz I m walking alone,

I hate u, coz once we took...long walks together...

I hate u, not coz u dont talk,

I hate u, coz once we...talked for hours...

I hate u, not coz u broke up...

I hate u, coz u promised...u wont...

I hate u, not coz u r away,

I hate u, coz u never...came back...

I hate u, not coz u made me cry,

I hate u, coz once u made me...smile...

I hate u, not coz u hate me,

I hate u, coz u know...I...Love...You...